I used to think churches on Sunday were all the same and no matter what service I would walk into I would experience Christ and the Love that’s been poured out for us through Jesus.
Yet as I seek for a new church home I am confronted with the larger reality that there are far more people in our churches who feel safest when every question has a tidy black and white answer. Who police the borders of belonging, as if they make the chairs at our father’s table. Who shout foul names like holy weapons, and mistake blind certainty for holiness. They defend a system more than they seek a Savior. They say they are protecting truth, but too often they are protecting their perceived control.
Their world feels secure as long as it stays simple. But I am living proof that the gospel was never meant to be just simple ink on a page. Just look at my life story, it only makes sense because Scripture is alive. If it were just text, nothing in me would move. Instead scripture keeps forming my heart, trimming my pride, strengthening my love, softening my anger, and pulling me back to Jesus over and over again. It was meant to be alive, I mean come on! His words are spirit and life (Hebrews 4:12, John 6:63).
It was meant to be alive enough to confront pride and heal the wounded (Micah 6:8). Alive enough to hold our sinfulness and still bear good fruit (John 15:5). If our faith refuses to have compassion, give confession, and see the image of God in our neighbor, then it is our theology that must repent first, not our neighbor (1 John 4:20, Matthew 7:5).
It’s wild to me that lately I feel as if I have to plead with people that I am not their enemy, that I too am a fellow disciple seeking Jesus. Which has led me to asking myself where do I/we go from here? What’s next? How do we keep pushing forward and how do we not burn out or give in.
Here is what I came up with.
To start we pray. In that prayer we rejoice that God is king and that it is His love and strength we stand on and not our own (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, Ephesians 6:10). Personally if it were up to my own strength it would have failed a long time ago, and in all honesty it did fail a long time ago. It is only by Gods grace that I am still here, still going, still praying, still hoping, still singing, still giving glory to the one whose name is above all names (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Isaiah 40:31).
After we pray we seek. We seek after the lost, we seek after the broken hearted, we seek after the widow and the orphan, we seek after those who are hungry and heavy burdened ( Luke 19:10, Isaiah 61:1, James 1:27). When we find them we love them, we serve them, we give what we can, and we point them back to Jesus not just in our words because let’s be honest our words mean nothing if our actions don’t match (James 2:14-17, 1 John 3:18, Matthew 5:16). We do all of this unconditionally simply because of what has been given us so freely, and so abundantly (Matthew 10:8, 1 John 4:19).
Then we reflect and measure our faith by what Scripture tells us to measure it by aka Galatians 5:22-23, the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) which becomes our mirror and grading rubric. We adjust where we need to, remembering 2 Corinthians 13:5: “Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in the faith.” We confess what we need to, trusting 1 John 1:9. Through all of it and especially at the end we humbly and whole heartedly rejoice that, despite all our shortcomings and failures, we are fiercely loved, as Romans 8:38-39 promises that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
After all that, we start new, just as Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us that God’s mercies “are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” This whole process is a rhythm to be repeated and adjusted as we grow in wisdom, as the Holy Spirit convicts and conforms us to God’s will.
Thank you for reading!
With Love,
Your Neighbor,
a Christian who happens to be gay