Righteousness is not something I have to defend. It is something Christ forms in me.
Growing up in an evangelical church that statement feels backwards, and yet it is also kinda the whole point.
We live in a moment where being right feels somehow too deeply urgent. As if every debate is ultimate. Every disagreement feels like a personal threat and in some sense it actually can be an attempt at a personal threat to one’s salvation. In a lot of Western evangelical spaces, faith has slowly shifted from surrender to apologetic certainty, from transformation to argumentation, from holiness to optics.
We built entire cultures around apologetics, cut-throat precision, and doctrinal defense forgetting the abundant grace and mercy that’s given to all Gods children. Now I want to be clear there is a place and deep requirement for thoughtful theology that shapes how we answer questions around our faith. It is important for us to think deeply about our responses to questions in defense of our faith and as reminders when we doubt. There is also a place to share our clarity with others who might be uncertain. All that being true we must still be aware of an increase in the need to be correct over being christlike. When that route gets driven more often than the road to being Christ like it is a clear indicator that something has drifted.
Jesus tells a story that I think helps us understand the rhythm needed for strict apologetics and Christlike love.
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
In Luke 18:9-14, a Pharisee stands in the temple and prays confidently about his religious record. He fasts. He tithes. He is not like “other people.” He appears to be presenting his résumé before God.
Meanwhile, a tax collector stands at a distance. He will not even lift his eyes and he simply says, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”
And Jesus says, “For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted” (Luke 18:14, NRSVue).
The religiously precise man leaves unchanged.
The broken man leaves justified.
That should cause us to pause and reflect.
Because if I am honest, a lot of our theological battles start sounding like that Pharisee’s prayer. We thank God that we are not like those Christians. Not like those liberals. Not like those conservatives. Not like those affirming churches. Not like those traditionalists.
We defend our righteousness.
We curate our camp.
We protect our image.
But grace does not operate on the logic of performance.
“They are now justified by his grace as a gift” (Romans 3:24, NRSVue).
A gift does not require defense.
A gift cannot be earned.
Paul is even more blunt: “If it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace” (Romans 11:6, NRSVue).
The moment righteousness becomes something I achieve or safeguard, I am already stepping outside of grace.
Pride Is Not Partisan
This is not only a conservative problem. It is not only an evangelical problem. It is a human problem.
Pride can wear a suit and quote systematic theology.
Pride can wave a progress flag and speak the language of justice.
Both can weaponize Scripture.
Both can confuse certainty with maturity.
The issue is not which side I stand on. The issue is whether I am standing in humility at all.
James says it cleanly: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6, NRSVue). Not the conservative humble. Not the progressive humble. Just the humble.
Christ’s Work Is Heart Renovation
Christ’s justice is not about humiliating us. It is about restoring what sin has fractured. His justice is not image management. It is heart renovation.
He is not asking us to win arguments.
He is asking us to die to ourselves.
I find when I stop defending myself and start surrendering myself, something shifts. The heated temperature thats ready to blow drops, the fear gripping my heart loosens, and I become teachable again.
And something else happens too.
I start noticing grace at work in people I once dismissed. In neighbors who interpret Scripture differently. In Christians who worship differently. Even in people I once labeled enemies.
I need to be honest recognition requires humility and is not easy by my own account. It requires trusting that the Spirit of God is not confined to my “side”.
“Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1, NRSVue). The problem is not knowledge. The problem is knowledge without love, conviction without gentleness, orthodoxy without repentance.
Philippians 2 does not give an exemption clause for your actions or my own, for controversial topics, or for anyone for any reason. It says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, NRSVue). So have we regarded others as better than ourselves or less than ourselves?
What the Church Needs
The Western church does not need more ego. It does not need more polished defenses and it for sure does not need louder certainty.
It needs humility.
It needs repentance.
It needs grace that reshapes the heart.
The most honest measure is not whether I proved I was right. The measure is whether Christ is forming righteousness in me and His love was shown and felt through me.
That tends to be felt and worked out slower and quieter than we like these days but it also tends to be holier and more fulfilling.
And it is the only kind that lasts.
- Thanks for reading!
- This has been a message from your Neighbor, a Christian who happens to be gay.
Additional scripture to consider when talking to christians who don’t agree with you.
Luke 18:9–14
Romans 3:24
Romans 11:6
James 4:6
1 Corinthians 8:1
Philippians 2:3–5
2 Timothy 2:24–25
Romans 14:4